Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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