y did u give ur computer a hand job?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
