lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
