If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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