Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
