Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You need Xanax blowdarts
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
