Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just had sex on a roof
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
