So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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