I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize
