so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
