2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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