i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I smell like Dick and happiness
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