I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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