Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
