Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
