You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize