I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
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So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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