there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
