I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
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I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
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how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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