even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
