Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
