I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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