he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
