Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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