what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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