Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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