This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
