I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
