After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
