captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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