Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
