Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
