Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
