Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
