so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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