Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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