That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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