I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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