Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Help. Why am I so naked?
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