honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize