Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
