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• (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Worst stoner tragedy.

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart

  (281): View more from Texas

  What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.

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