We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
