Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
