it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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