remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
