dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
