Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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