did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
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Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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