so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
