Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
