Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think your dad took our porno
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
