i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
