what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize