so explain again why im purple
no
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
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your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
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It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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