Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
you made out with another girl for some wings
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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