Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize