She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
