Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enjoy the penises
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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