1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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