I want to walk on stilts...naked
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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