Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
