The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Randomize
