i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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