Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
They took my balls.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
