Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
