i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like death gave me a hand job
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
