I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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