i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize