i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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