she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
